Thursday, April 05, 2007

I'm In, Even Though My Body Is In Entropy


I'm in.
Originally uploaded by V'ron.
WWI: (even though it's Thursday) 21.2, so I'm down 1.8. I was battling a nasty sinus infection, and get this, I sprained my ankle on Saturday. That's really putting a damper on my plans to do the Danskin Triathlon but I'm going to do it anyway. My doctor says I'll be able to run again in, now, about 8 more days, and I'm already doing PT to deal with it. I've got three months to train, this isn't out of the question.
Plus, I also have Planta Fasciaitis. My PT for that was going well, and although the doctor says it will take a while, I was already feeling significant improvement and was very hopeful that conservative treatment (lots of stretching, icing, etc.) was all I was going to need. Then I went and blew out my ankle on Saturday. One step forward, two steps back, literally. But I'm gonna do it.
Then, last Friday, I'm at a friends out and suddenly, my I keep joking that my body is in entropy. Weight wise, I wish!
I've always wanted to do this and not waiting until I lose the weight is a glorious violation of the Fat Girl Rules. I'm so glad the fine ladies at Angry Fat Girlz articulated those and posted them. I didn't follow them all, but I was a major disciple of "I can't try to work on any other goals until I get rid of this fat." That really hit home when I read it, and from that point on, I've made a point of violating it, and it feels great. I wrote last year that I wasn't pouring a 200+ pound body into a triathlon suit. Fuck that. I'm running.

Still, I'm down almost 2 pounds. I got all my photos printed and mounted for this show I've got coming up, and that's lifted a huge amount of stress from me and I know that's got a lot to do with it. But the lesson learned here is that stress is my binge trigger. Yesterday I had a heinous day at work, with a fire to put out that's still raging, and I got up and went to the cafeteria and bought some chocolate covered pretzels from the Easter Candy Lady that was set up there and as I swallowed them I realized exactly what I was doing. I was stressed out from work and I was anesthetizing with food. "This stops now," I said to myself, looking over my numbers for the past two months and realizing I'd thrown plenty of good work out the window. For dinner, I carefully made some grilled chicken, a little pasta, and some asparagus. (Mmmmmm, asparagus. It's asparagus season.) But it really did feel good to be back in control, to make a healthful, delicious dinner. That's also been an issue besides the stress: I've been swamped with stuff, and I claim no time to make dinner, which, when I make it, is always better for me and my goals than something that's quick and easy to nuke up or re-heat or get in a drive through. I need to really concentrate on making and eating good food. And I have to learn to identify my stress trigger earlier and catch it before I eat stupidly again. You'd think two months of backpedaling would teach me.

OK, back to fires.

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