Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Guess I'm in an overall drag mood. Both this kids have this really nasty virus that includes spiky fevers, and overnight coughing fits that make them sound like they've got croup or something. Brian is getting something nasty too, and he's a joy to be around when he's sick. Saw the doc about all this; it’s a virus, there's nothing we can do but just pound the fluids and be good to their/our bodies. But it's still unnerving to cuddle this broiling hot child while putting yet another dose of ibuprofen down her throat. I'm washing my hands like a madwoman and pounding the echinecea and other Vitamin C sources in an attempt to stave this off so I don't get it. So that's contributing to this overall drag I've got.

Anyway, the Wednesday Weigh In numbers, which hopefully hearald the end of this weight spike. 220.5, 46.5, down exactly 1. Normally this would be cause for happyness, but I'm still depressed with how out of control I got during January, and how I blew all the goodness of the standard holiday season. I know, I know, forgive myself and move on. But it feels like wasted time, like I totally blew everything I worked for. I'm not even where I was back in September. I'm even above a major milestone that I remember doing the happy dance over many months back. There's just this spike in my weightloss graph for January, and its sticking out on the chart like this cyst-like zit I've got brewing on my forehead.

The refined sugar fast is going well. I haven't been totally good, but at the same time, those first few days were significant because I was presented with temptation and I got past it. So I guess I should feel good about that. At least I'm not having massive blood sugar spikes from eating a whole bag of Butterfinger BBs. That's been the one good thing about this week. I've severely cut down the refined sugar, and already I feel good (all things considered) physically. Brian was even mentioning this the other day. Last year, he had high blood pressure and besides your standard BP meds, the one dietary change he made was to cut out High Fructose Corn Syrup, and it's made a difference in his BP, his attitude, his overall feel-goodness, all that stuff. I know the scientific jury is still out with their verdict, but going on what we feel in our bodies, we just know something is up with that stuff. "Man, what a difference cutting the HFCS makes" Brian mused over the epiphany he had when I mentioned I was going on a refined sugar fast. "HFCS really fucks you up." Indeed.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Lighten Up

1/18/2007 - 183, up 1.4.
1/25/2007 - 178.4, down 4.6. 53.4 lbs lost total. Last time I was here was 11/16. The 55 lbs lost mark is within reach. And I'm finally ready to face the challenge and get there.

OK, let's call it J18 and LUW and HELL and AOM. That's what's turned me around. Something in the 1/18 meeting finally struck a chord. Couldn't tell you what. But I was motiviated. And maybe it was the weight gain, too. What am I doing? Am I just throwing my $$ away to WW if I'm not going to follow the program? So J18 - that's the first factor in my turning around.

I'm on a team in the Lighten Up Wisconsin (LUW) challenge. We report our weight and activity each week to our team lead even though we only report to the challenge monthly. This keeps me going, that feeling of being accountable to the team. And we can win prizes! But it's more just the motivation.

These same teammates are doing another thing called Healthy Eating, Live Longer (HELL). As part of that we get beads. A black one if you gained, a yellow if you lost, and a happy face for each 5 lbs. You pay if you gain and the maintainers and losers share the pot. Since we do that on Monday, it's extra motiviation to be good on the weekends, my usually downfall time before I get back on track on Monday.

I signed up for America on the Move (AOM) where you record your steps/activity each day. Trying to continue to work in activity to stay with that. With all these ways to track my food and activity, I have no excuses!

My final thing that will keep me going is walking. I've been wanting to do more walking and made it a priority goal this year to really get out there and walk. Long walks, organized walks, endurance walks. So I finally stopped just talking and started taking steps to fulfilling my goal. I sent out an email to local girlfriends to see who will join me in these walks. I'm also very excited about the whole Volkssport thing. There's a local chapter called the Dairyland Walkers that have some great organized walks and other anytime mapped walks. I'm going to a membership meeting in two weeks. There's a 10K this weekend already and a couple friends are joining me. It's a big step for me, not only in really committing to my exercise goals and weight loss, but in getting myself to stop just thinking about it and actually doing it.

55 lbs lost here I come.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I Am A Cliche

Today's title come to us courtesy of the B-Side of punk/ska priestesses X-Ray Spex's 1977 British hit, "Oh Bondage Up Yours."

"The Average American gains approximately 6.5 pounds over the holiday season." Well, here's Wednesday Weigh-In Numbers: 221.5 (jesus!), up 2, which brings us to (drum roll) 6.5 pounds over the holiday season. Yes, I Am A Cliche.

And so, in cliche fashion, I'm panicking. I'd like to blame this on the party Brian and I had this past weekend, but I was actually in control there. It's work. I'm getting wavy at work, and I'm getting this craving for sweets, and I'm horribly indulging it. I'm not quite sure why, but I can feel a sugar addiciton. That's the thing about refined sugar; its like heroin. Maybe that's why its called "JUNK" food. Anyway, I can feel the blood sugar spike, almost in a relieving way, after I down an entire bag of Butterfinger BBs, which I did yesterday. And I just wanted more. For some stupid ass reason I got more.

So, time to detox. I've done a sugar detox before. The first few days you actually get headaches from the withdrawl, but then afterwards you feel really good, with more good, positive energy than ever. So I'm going on a sugar/refined carb fast starting today. Its loosely based on "The Fat Flush Plan" which is in the low-carb, south beach camp, but the author of the plan, Ann Gittleman, allows fruits, which technically are carbs. I'll also have a little barley in my mushroom soup that I made a big pot of last night, but barley's a pretty complex carb. (besides, that soup is filling, and its only 2 points.). But I'll be taking flax oil, cutting out all the refined sugars, and pretty much do that for 1-2 weeks, just to go cold turkey on my need for refined sugar/starch.

And because a lot of this is specifically to wean myself off the taste of refined sugar, that means no diet soda for at least a week. Now that's going to be a toughie. I might succumb to that, so its a lofty goal. But real sugar, yes, I can keep that out for at least 10 days, which is what I need to do to stop these cravings I'm getting. I will probably lose some weight as well, but the purpose of this, (like Renee at Renee Gets Fit's fast a month or so back) is not to lose weight, but to detox my body.

But to do something drastic like go on some crazy I'm-going-to-cut-out-an-entire-class-of-food diet, yeah, that's cliche. Oh well. "I Am A Cliche" was a great song done by a great punk band.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Up again. Bluuhhhh. Ick.

219.5. Fat %46. Up a pound again. Bluuuhhhh. Ick.

OK, time to analyze, get real, and learn from others. From Kdk13, I also need to account for my exercise, because I'm making the same mistake she's making: I dn't count exercise in my caloric needs for the day, I then get super hungry, and I make bad food choices. Duh. You go into this thinking, oh, the exercise is just gravy, and it doesn't work that way.

Also, I've called the end of the holiday season this Sunday, so I'm eating like I have extra time to lose. I don't. I was downright cocky this week. I didn't track my food, and well, I'm paying for it with a pound gain. Its going to be hard to track this week, because this party we're having Saturday will come complete with horsodeurves (and there is no such thing as "lite" hors o deurves, at least none fit for human consumption), and drinkie poos. Drinkie poos are actually more damaging than hors o deurves. Not only are they high calorically, they go down way too easily, and then once you're toasted, you have the munchies, so you dive into the hors o deurves. And you don't go for the healthy crudities, because when you're toasted, you want carbs, protein, and fat. Fiber is the last craving you have. (Note to self: see if you can find a time when you actually crave fiber.). I can save points until the cows come home, but really, to make up for Saturday, I'm pretty much going to have to fast. Bluuuuuhhhhh. Ick.

I had a lovely bowl of oatmeal this morning. Lunch will be a salad. I'm going to have to eat this way all week. I have mini- Beef Wellingtons to save points for. And drinkie poos. Bluuuhhhh. Ick.

Then January 21 will roll around before I know it and I will have to get back in the saddle. Oh, and I'm stairclimbing today. Fun. (once again, what's the HTML tags for sarcasm.)

I know, this wasn't one of my regular, thought out essays on the anthropology of weightloss. It's just that I'm above the milestone of my pre-Sammy pregnancy weight, through my own damn fault, and its pissing me off. Bluuhhhhh. Ick.

If there's any silver cloud to this, my measurements haven't been too bad. I gained an inch in my chest, but my lower body measurements, like hips and thighs and even waist, have gone down. Weird. Very weird. Bluhhhhhhhh. Ick.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


181.6 - down 2.2. Back once again to 50 pounds lost. How many times do I need to get here before I can move on to 55?!

J2 didn't work so hot for me, but J8 is going well. Been going well this week after a Friday night at Melting Pot and then the weekend of continuing to eat through the holiday treats. This weekend will be spent in Chicago at a friends's house. She asked if I needed any special food for being on WW and I said "oh, no". What was I thinking? She's offering - stand up for yourself KDK and tell her. Actually I did say I'd love salad, veggies and fruit and I'll bring the fruit. Maybe I'll bring my own breakfast too…and roasted veggies and…

OK, I don't know if I'm fooling myself or what, but I think a part of my not losing consistently last September - December was that I was hungry. I was working out with the trainers and working out at home and climbing stairs and cleaning house and I only gave myself minimal points for the gym and working out time. Could I really have been burning calories and making myself hungry? I don't know, but I was hungry and I made bad decisions. So, now I'm going to give myself points for legitimate activity, even if not regular exercise. Like when I mop the floor vigorously for a half an hour I'm taking those points. Then I make sure to eat all my points for the day including activity points, but try to steer clear of the flex points.

I really don't want to be posting a "J15" subject next week, so I gotta stick to this.

Up to 11 on the 11th!

Brian had taken in my primary electric guitar to the shop last week for an overhaul, and I just got it back. Ready to plug in. (And Nigel, I have an amp that goes up to 11!) And regular readers of this blog know that my getting back up on stage with a guitar strapped on is a major part of getting my moxie back, and gettting rid of my fatness, because as we all know, 95% of this weightloss thing in in our heads, and not exactly the left side of the brain, either. That logical left side stuff is easy: eat less, move more. Duh. No, its the right side of the brain, the emotional, the creative, the musical, that needs to (literally) get in tune for me.

It's time to turn the weightloss efforts up to 11, as well.

Really, it all goes hand in hand. You have to believe you're worth it to do anything, and not be afraid of being noticed, looked at, and possibly critiqued. I've read in enough blogs, and I'm finally starting to understand, that being fat, in an odd way, is a way to become invisible. Invisible was safe, but you don't accomplish much being invisible. All the things I want to do: write, photograph, and play music -- are the antithesis of invisible. Losing weight is all part of losing invisibility. I'm finding that as I once did, I like being visible, and out there. I'm visible, I'm loud, my knobs do go up to 11.

We are scheduled to rehearse for the first time in years this Sunday.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

WWI: Can I get a fast pass?

Numbers: 218.5, fat % 46. Hey, I'm down a half pound! Not bad, considering I still did a holiday party (and it wasn't the food that got me, I was in control there!) and I'm riding the rickshaw this week.

I'm trying so hard not to succumb to the "New Year New You New Resolution" kind of post, but I can't help it. Everybody around is on this "I gotta get in shape" kick, which should wane in about a week or so. And I'm caught up in it. I find myself being extra mindful of my habits. (You'd never know from my weight post this week!) But for the time being, I have to put up with the Y being packed, with everybody around me "starting" diets, and for weightloss spam to be packing my email box and cluttering up cable TV. I'd posted a comment on somebody's blog (perhaps Pound?) that I kind of felt like I should have a free ticket to skip waiting -- like you can pay extra for at Six Flags -- for various weight machines. The holidays spoiled me: I'm not used to having to wait for a bench press or an elliptical machine, dammit! Hey you 115-pound newbie, I've got tenure here! I know that's rude, so I don’t actually say it, but still. Don't I get some kind of priviledge for slogging it out on December 23 before I hit the vicious par-tays? I guess my "reward" is already being in exercise condition, and for not massively gaining. And even though I've put on a few pounds over the holidays, (and they're not over yet, I have one more party a week from Saturday at my house that involves holiday hors o deurves), I'm declaring victory. Once again I was mindful and didn't go nuts. Its usually much, much worse, and that in and of itself is a reward, I guess.

Friday, January 05, 2007


183.8 up 4.4. Well, at least it was less than 5 lbs which I was hoping my gain wouldn't be more than. This holiday I just enjoyed myself. And ate whatever I wanted. The worse for me, the more I ate of it. I wanted it all out of the house by Jan 1. Didn't quite get there, but definite strides towards the goal. The problem is it all goes through my mouth on it's way out of the house. I was also feeling under the weather for a big part of the week between big events and had very little energy to get up and exercise.

J2 - That's what our leader calls this time - January 2 when the tracker comes back out and the renewed focus starts again. My renewal started yesterday with our meeting. I can't make my goals unless I focus and plan my diet and exercise. And I need some sleep instead of my 4 hours I seem to get a night since there's never enough hours in a day.

And just when my renewal is starting what am I doing? I'm going on a date tonight with my husband to the Melting Pot. And we're doing the Big Night Out that includes cheese fondue, salad, entrée fondue, and dessert fondue. Got a booth in "Lover's Lane" all reserved. I'm also indulging in the yin-yang chocolate martini. Most (all? Next weeks, too??) of my flex points will be going toward this meal. Saturday night we're headed to a candlelight hike in Blue Mounds. At least I can earn some points with the hike, but I'm sure those will get used quickly by the free hot cocoa and roasted marshmallows.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Stairclimbing season again. Real stairs are different.

Its too cold and yucky to ride a bike to work, but there are days when I'm not going to have time to get a workout in. So back to those darn stairs. As I wrote when I first started this thing, real stairs vs. a stairclimber is a major difference. But I've gotten in better shape, even since I wrote this and I'm actually climbing the building stairs, not the parking garage stairs. My building has 41 floors, plus three or four service floors. And I'm not sure if that means a total of 44 floors, because they don't start labeling them until 3, but there's double floors between what would be 2 and 3, and the ground floors all have names of streets and ... and ... and... its just too confusing. Suffice to say its about 46 flights of stairs.

Baseline time for going up once, measured today: 14:30. Last year I was averaging 16 minutes or so, so already I'm better than that. But the fact that I don't have to just go up and down three flights in the parking stairwell is major too.

Wanna do this with me? Then we can kvetch together! You will need:

  • A spare T-Shirt. An extra sports bra helps too.
  • Gym shoes in your desk. Don't count on remembering to bring your regulars every day.
  • One bottle of Jonathan Redo Freshen-up Mist for Hair & Skin. I rarely make product endorsements, but this stuff really works. Its worth the $18 for five stinking ounces. Spritz this on afterwards, brush through your hair, and you're good, at least for the rest of the workday. Believe me, if you remember Psssssst! The Instant Spray Shampoo from the 60s, this is way better. (And yes, I had to sing the little theme song in my head to get the number of s's right.) Pssssss! was gross. It left these little grains in your hair. No, this just freshens you up so you don't smell like a football player in your cube. OK, now back to our regularly scheduled blog.
  • Facial cleanser and moisurizer. You will want to wash afterwards.
  • Some absorbent head thingy to hold your hair back and soak up sweat.
  • An iPod or other personal stereo.

OK, gather all these up and go climb stairs. Start little -- like I did with the parking garage-- go up four flights and then down, to give yourselve a break. Lather rinse repeat. Then, if your building is larger, go for it. Don't hit the 40 floors instantly like I did three weeks ago and then had difficulty even getting out of bed because my calves were so sore. I don't care if you've been climbing the stairmaster since October. Like I referenced in the first paragraph, real stairs are different, repeat real stairs are totally different.

Oh, and don't eat beforehand.

I sooooo can not wait until spring. Did I mention how I hate stairclimbing? But its all I can do on days like this when I have no other time to do anything else.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Truthiness in Holiday weightloss

Some weeks ago, pastaqueen had this entry about considering not admitting a weight gain and if there was a week to lie on the blog about weigh in, this is it.

But I'm not going to. Today I weight 219, that's a three pound gain. Oy. C'mon, I even ran for an hour on Christmas Day! Last year I lost weight during the holidays. But here's the thing. Unlike pastaqueen, I have not yet declared the holidays over. I still have my company holiday party this Saturday, and my husband and I throw our annual Christmas party in late January. After that, we take down the tree and declare the holidays over. So I still have three weeks to post an overall holiday loss. Just to tell you I'm not lying (would somebody who posted a three pound gain after a 2 pound gain start lying now), here's a link to when I declared the holiday eating season over last year. Note date.

Hey, at least the fat % is down to 45. And my measurements haven't budged. The ol "cousin from the country" (do people really still call it that) is [excuse mode] due any day now [/excuse mode off]. I had a lovely fruit and yogurt breakfast. And I was pretty stupid this past weekend. First, on new year's eve, I worked out like a horse, on a very small breakfast and nonexistent lunch. When I showed up to meet my friends for an afternoon new years toast (it was midnight in Paris, after all!), I had an apres-workout ravenous hunger that could not be satisfied. I stuffed myself silly with french pastry and such. Even the next day I felt bloated, like people normally feel after Thanksgiving dinner. What was I thinking? I wasn't.

OK, forgive myself and move on. The holidays are not yet over; I still have the challenge of two major parties ahead of me. Which means I still have the opportunity to beat this holiday eating thing.