Now I'm really back. OK, now I can speak freely. I paid absolutely no attention to weight loss these past two months, so it would be hypocritical to write about it. Fact is, I gained. And now I can talk about it.
I was in the interview process (which in my field can go for two months) and I got the offer this week. I turned in my resignation at my current job (where I've been for a decade!) and now I can finally talk. I was afraid to post here because I lay my emotions bare on this weightloss blog, and I didn't want to risk anybody finding out that I was interviewing.
But yeah. Here's the thing. In the past bunch of months I started realizing more and more that I'm in the wrong industry. It started to come into focus (pun intended) when I project managed that art opening. For a while I had a nagging feeling (bordering on resentment) that I wasn't where I needed to be. And that wasn't fair to my current employer (who's always been good to me), and I was loaded with conflicting feelings and guess how I took that out?
Well, put it this way. I'm back up to 235 -- where I started this journey. And I hadn't really made much progress in the months preceeding. I had to buy a whole new interview suit because my regular one was really ill-fitting -- I haven't had to wear an interview suit in 10 years! (It was also 10 years out of date, and it *looked* so 1997 that I couldn't have possibly have shown up for an interview with a cool employer located in the artsy refurbished warehouse district smack off the set of Thirtysomething and … well that's just an excuse. It could have been some smashing Stella McCartney or DKNY ensemble and it would have been wrong because it didn't fit.
But after I got The Call, even my husband noticed that my muscles finally loosened up. And I'm now ready to re-claim my plan. 2007 was certainly a year of rediscovery, as one of my commenters noted. I ran a triathlon, I had a successful art opening, I'm gettting freelance writing articles published in the MSM, and now, I got this new job that's going to allow me to leverage both my business skills with my artistic background. And maybe I had to go through all of this. I found myself, ever since Wednesday (the day I got The Call -- which, truth be told, was actually The Email, but the 20th century "call" just seemed more dramatic) not reaching for food every ten seconds to pass the time.
The lesson learned here, though, is that I still haven't cured the fact that I STILL use food as an (ultimately ineffective) stress relieving tool. It's not even effective short term. It satisfies a moment, rather than nourishes. I have work to do. And not just at the new job.