Wednesday, December 27, 2006

On a roll

And I'm not talking about ham, turkey, or roast beast with mayo. I've lost 6.4 lbs this month - a month when others gain 10. While I still have Mt Everest to go, I am feeling a bit of joy over brushing the snow off of my shoes and taking the first step. The next boulder is New Year's Eve. Going to a six course foodie extravaganza - everyone brings a course. Have plans to use exercise to compensate but have worries that the food and drink will use up all points for 2007!

Still holding on to the same goals: write, water, and motion.

Here's to a healthy, happening 2007.

Monday, December 25, 2006

I am so totally good

It's Christmas day, and since the Y wasn't open, and the weather was something like the mid-40s, I went out and ran for an hour.

An hour, people.

I rock. Santa, didja hear that? I am so totally good.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Goals for the new year

179.4 - down 1.4 The traveling tracker helped this week. Even with 3 social "free food" meals and a few other temptations out there, I managed to lose. Had I not had two pizza-centric meals yesterday and had controlled the other snacking better, I may have lost even more. I did eat lots of fruits and veggies and limited my pizza intake much better than I would have in the past, so I'm making progress.

I don't have weigh-in next week and probably won't post, so time to set my 2007 goals. It's been over 6 months since I hit my 50 lb goal and it's time I moved on. Only 2.6 from the 55 lb goal. I want to be there for the 1/4/2007 weigh-in. That's my first goal.

These goals are set with a more realistic 1 lb per week loss. My average since I started the plan is around 0.80 right now because of my "maintenance" period for the last few months.
171.8 by 02/01/07 - 60 lbs lost for Gary's birthday
158.0 by 05/24/07 - BMI defines my weight as "Normal" In time for Memorial Day and the first swim of the season
156.8 by 05/31/07 - (1 yr from first weigh-in) - 75 lbs lost
140.0 by 09/27/07 - Lifetime goal. 2 year anniversary of joining Weight Watchers
131.8 by 11/22/07 - 100 lbs lost, just to say I did 100. Thanksgiving. And I'll be giving thanks!

Only two social events remaining for the year: Christmas Eve and New Years Eve. I'm making a fruit platter for both and I can make wise food choices and still enjoy myself. Here's looking forward to the new thinner me in 2007.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

this is a test post

content to follow

When I'm home I behave

213.8, fat % 47.1. Not happy about this fat percentage, but overall weight is down point 2, which is better than gaining, I guess. Lots of eating crap. I didn't go over points, but let's just say I haven't been ODing on the veggies. And holiday cheer (in the form of beer) is a factor as well.

Next week shouldn't be all that bad. When I'm home, its really not that much of an issue. It's when I'm at work, and people have all this stuff put out, that I falter. I think that's where a lot of people falter. But I'm taking the whole week off work. The presents are done, so I have time to get in really good workouts, plus this nasty bronchitis is finally waning, so I can get in true cardio workouts. Plus, I have a massage and facial scheduled for after Christmas, so I'll be taking good care of myself.

Last night we baked christmas cookies with the kids, and I had a few wads of cookie dough, but really, that was it. Again, at home, its like I'm conscious, I'm in control. But then Melissa at work brings in a tray full of cookies and, well, that's breakfast. I had three and a cup of coffee.

Happy Christmas, friends!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Cookies almost gone

12/7 - 182.4 - up 0.6. Cookies are still a problem. Still eating 10 or so a day. Gotta cut that out.

12/14 - 180.8 - down 1.6. Don't know how this happened, but I'll take it. Must be losing muscle weight as I haven't exercised much lately. Had the cookie exchange on Saturday. But tried to steer my snacking toward the fruit. Had dinner at the Melting Pot with the girls. Had a wine flight instead of a fru-fru drink so only 2 points. Went with the California salad and the vegetarian fondue in broth. Two reasons - 1) keep the points down & 2) when I come back with Gar in January we're going for the Big Night Out and lots of meat! The 4 girls at our table shared a small chocolate fondue which finished the evening off nicely and not too terrible. Cookie consumption down to 5 a day. Walked at lunch with Jenny most days.

This week I have the "traveling tracker" for our group. Forcing myself to track and knowing others will read my entries make me watch myself. Gar had a work party Friday night. Limited myself to two wines and tried to balance the "bad" with the "good" at the appetizer buffet dinner. The scale is looking good so far this week. Exercise activity has been up, too. Free food coming on Wed and Thurs - my usual downfall. Must stay focused and on track.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Awareness, its the first step

The good thing about the last two weeks is that I kept track of things - how much I ate, how much exercise I did(n't) do, how much water I drank. Now I really know that I am overeating, only exercising 10 minutes a day, and drinking only a glass or two of water.

But onward ho I go! I went ice skating at the outdoor rink in Centennial Olympic Park this morning. Glorious to skate outdoors in 70 degree weather even if it is a small rink. Milwaukeeans, think Winterfest in Cathedral Square Park. We're going to visit as often as possible while its available. A little walking is also on the schedule for this next week.

Lost 2.2 since my last post. More to follow, I just know it. One step at a time.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Blog Maintenance Notes redux

OK, I'm on the new Blogger Beta, and its not liking dealing with the new templates, and I'm going to have to work on this this weekend. Please bear with me during construction. Whole new look and everything.

Dodging a bullet for the second year in a row.

Well, that was dodging a bullet. Both mine and Brian's birthdays were this week. We started out this week at a fabulous steak house, where I learned I don't really need a 12oz filet. The 8 oz would have done nicely. But it wasn't a cheap piece of meat, and the better $$$ value was the 12 oz. I have GOT to get over the $$$ value part -- because the weightloss value would have been the 8 oz. Especially considering the lobster bisque I started with.

Nevertheless, the numbers this week: Holding steady at 214, with 46.3 fat percentage. It could have, should have been worse. Just look at the birthday drinkie poos me and my girlfriends had on Friday. This is a place that serves ice cream drinks. I didn't even bother trying to figure out points. However, I was still good for the rest of the weekend. My work buddy Karina has this fondue party every year that I attended Saturday night, so I re-read this same post that I wrote about this same party last year and applied my lessons learned, and that's why I'm not posting a 5 pound gain this week. (Instead of eating, I spent my time working up karaoke nerve to sing the one song I could stand to sing among the selections, Rick Derringer's "Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo." Lordy, did I really do that? Was not eating yet another serving of bacon and swiss fondue worth grunting out "Lordy Mama, light my fuse"?). Still, though, this whole "reviewing your past lessons" thing really works.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I've got a Secret -- Finally!

Wednesday Weigh In Numbers first: 214, fat % 45.9 Down 3. Lost the two from Turkey week, plus another one. Told you I'd bounce back during stuff your face season!

Anyway, it's the holiday dress up season, and I was happy to find a few smashingly casual but low-cut tops to pair with festive bottoms for holiday parties and such, that FIT. You would think I'd have learned by now that big tits are an ASSET, but when you've been as fat and as down on yourself as I had been, you don't think anything can save you, and the "Gee, I should show off a bit of this DD-clevage, for it is considered sex-ay" never passes through your head. So I had this epiphany that for the holiday season, even though my belly and ass aren't where I want them to be, if I simply call attention to my jugs, perhaps people would overlook the fact that I still have a BMI in the mid 30s.

Problem is, all my bras do not support a low cut blouse. They're fat girl's bras. You know -- there's a minimum of six, count 'em, six hook-and-eyes in the back, and the part where it crosses your heart is well above your heart. They're comfy, the're functional. They hold up the jugs. They're practically sports bras. But I call them Birth Control Bras. They are not the sort of bras you let peek out from underneath a low-cut holiday top.

So I drove out to the mall to get myself some low-cut bras with which to wear plunging holiday necklines. I'm almost walking into Cacique (which is French for "Lane Bryant's Answer to Victoria's Secret") and suddenly I spot Victoria's Secret directly across the mall. Do I risk it? Do I walk in there and see if I've lost enough weight to be an Angel, and risk the esteem-killer of having to walk out dejectedly because I'm still too fat? Because dammit, I can buy my pants at Old Navy now, I can order online from Eddie Bauer, and most of all, I am through with Lane Bryant, god bless 'em, but I.Am.Through.With.Them.

Fuck riskiness. I've got to know if I can do this. I dart across the mall to VS.

I'm not even going to try to look on the counters. I learned a long time ago to head straight for the drawers. Even when I lose the weight, I'm still going to be a D, if not the DD I am now. They only display the itty bitty little bras for 34AA girls right in front, draped on those padded pink hangers. I see they have exactly what I need, the "Angels" bra that pushes up, but plunges deep. Yeah, there's a little padding on the sides, like I really need more volume, but that's for shaping. OK, Perfect. In black and fleshtone lace, so that it's pretty even if it does peek through. And I'm hoping I can pull off a 38DD. Would that be large enough? Cup size is never going to shrink, but would a 38 make it all the way around, without cutting into my back and make that awful No-Really-This-Is-Just-A-Particularly-Bloated-Period dent in my skin? I need a fitting room. No, I don't need assistance. I just need you to unlock the door, and leave me to my own devices.

Its been a long time since I've been able, physically and emotionally, to set foot in a VS, and a lot's changed. It's gotten a little trashier, and maybe that's what the market wants, but the nice thing I always liked about VS was that it wasn't Frederick's. The name even implied that this was a place meant for a queen to procure her intimate apparel, not some tacky trollop looking to buy some crotchless undies. And here you are in these fitting rooms, with the hot pink lettering on the mirror that says "STRIP." Oh great. This is so not me. Is this a two-way mirror? Jesus.

But suddenly, none of that mattered, because, honeys, IT FIT!!!!!!!!!! No cupth runneth over, no straps digging into the shoulder, no six hooks and eyes in the back, no back band cutting off the circulation to my spine. It fit, perfectly, pushing up and readying my boobies for some Elizabethan holiday cheer. Oh, this is soooooo ME! The old V'ron, that is.

I let out a little yelp of glee, and skipped, skipped I tell you out of the fitting room. And I'll take this in solid black too and, oh, I'm going to need one in white, la de da, and I'll need these "full coverage" bras for work in tan and black and navy, and ohmygod will you look at this fabulous one in pink and brown and blue polka dots! And matching polka dot panties that aren't butt floss! Yessssss!

So the real test is going public. Do I have the moxie to go out with a plunging neckline and a pushup bra? Because moxie is what makes the difference between a pathetic slut and a badass buxom blonde. And where better to test this out but Trash Fest? This way, I can get away with being a little trashy, and if it's not working, I can just plead "costume" and go back to turtlenecks, sports bras, and maybe a little rhinestone pin for the holidays. I arrive good 'n' early to get used to showing this much skin. Mind you, the shirt I'm wearing is long sleeved and I'm wearing black trousers and its topped off with a beat up old fedora. I'm making it absolutely clear where the center of attention should be, and it wasn't the red lipstick I chose to slap on at the last minute. But I'm wearing my contact lenses, makeup, a spritz of hair spray, yes, I'm pulling out all the badass power woman moxie stops. I'm walking tall like I just bought the remake rights to The Bliss of Mrs. Blossom. Amazing what the right Bustenhalter will do for you.

Also good 'n' early is a family friend, who often joins us to watch the Daytona 500, and never minces his words about anything. (You might be asking, "But V'ron, what of Brian? What did he have to say?" Well of course he told me I looked great. He has to. He's my husband, and he will tell me I look great if he knows what's good for him.) But back to the family friend. He normally sees Frumpy Fat V'ron, in all but a plaid mumu and curlers.

"You're looking good tonight," he says to my breasts. 20 years ago, V'ron the feminazi would have indignantly retorted, "Uh, they don't talk, you sexist pig-dog!" But that was then and this is now. Instead the next paragraph reads as follows:

"Why, thank you," my breasts replied brightly in a perky voice. "You know, I figured that if I showed a little valley, nobody would notice the mountain that is my ass."

"Not really paying attention to anything else," he said, eyes still not meeting mine.

"Good. Mission accomplished. Appreciate the input."

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Magic isn't working

One post in 3/2006 and I magically disappear. Sorry for that. But vanishing from life has been the standard operating procedure in all aspects of my life for most of this year. Feels like it is finally time to shake my head (hard) and try something new. Since my post early this year, I have gained 10 pounds - actually less than I thought - and now tip the scales at 282.8. Sadly, it is the most I have ever weighed in this lifetime. I've spent enough time beating myself up for it. Time to set some *gasp* goals. For the next four weeks, I'll:

1. Walk every day. At least 20 minutes.
2. Track consumption. Ignorance has not been bliss.
3. Post once a week. I need support here, it is obvious!
4. Drink water. I'm grazing when I should be guzzling.

I can do this. It ain't magic!