I've been eating fairly out of control this week. It's strictly been stress related. I want to stop being an emotional eater. Will that ever happen? I have no idea. I thought I'd gotten it under control, but apparently not.
My dad was hospitalized with kidney failure. It's a big convoluted story. My first response was to go open a bottle of wine and drink until the anxiety was quelled and I could think about it all without flipping out. Since I have no desire to be an alcoholic, I ate my way through it. Do we see a problem here? Does OA work like AA? Becuase if it does, then that's where I should be. Except that God part. I can't do the God part. Maybe I can just recover, write a book a la James Frey and get on Oprah.
But I digress.
So I've been eating emotionally. I really thought I'd conquered that but really, I haven't. And that's upsetting. It makes me believe I will always struggle with being hugely fat. Not losing the last 20, but more the struggle of losing the first 100.